| Writings |
Rae |
Past |
Visuals |
But if your heart's not in it, for real.
Please dont try to fake what you dont feel.
If love's already gone,
Its not fair to lead me on.
Cause, i would give the whole world, for you.
Anything you'd ask of me, i'll do.
But i wont ask you to say,
I'd rather walk away.
If your heart's not in it.
I'm halfway through the midyear common tests,
and i really didnt enjoy every single bit of it so far.
Three hours and fifteen minutes of chinese tomorrow,
followed by an expected killer paper for physics on friday.
I'm so not in the mood for anything right now.
I'm like so affected, and so sad.
I feel like crying.
You've changed, and that has brought about so much hurt.
I thought you started to think of me, all over again.
Then why do you sound so cold over the phone?
The tears cant stop flowing,
just like how the rain outside cant stop pouring.
When are humans ever happy?
And now that i start thinking of you again,
as the music in the background fades.
The sky darkens, somehow i'm beginning to feel down again.
I thought you had something to say,
say that you start thinking of me again.
Yet you sounded so cold. . .
Okay, i seriously feel like crying now.
Two days away from my mids, i spent my entire day in town.
Mango is having some frantic sale, everyone's squeezing here and there.
I'm not some cheapo who squeezes in with the crowd,
yeah i know there's a sales going on but no need for pushing, nono.
And only a day away from my mids.
I'm finally staying at home for once, trying to get some crap shit into my head.
I'm being such a good girl by attempting to finish a GP essay that is due,
and at the same time, writing a GP essay for the second time in my life before sitting for the GP paper tomorrow.
Get it? I bet you dont, cos my lang's atrocious.
I reckon i'm a weird peoson because i seem to like to do weird things at unappropriate times!
The sudden urge to do some little changes to my dumb template, like now!
Okay, i know i'm supposed to mug but. . .
RAAAAHHH.
I've been contemplating on getting a tongue piercing done by my personal connections :D ,
but the thing is, i'm scared of pain.
I dont know, i'm so confused.
The world is so small that my cousin's hockey coach is charles,
who is my coach too!
Perhaps we should stop dining at such posh places because we are so broke.
This is such a random entry to let me blabber rubbish at times like this.
I'm in love with you, like all over again.
you like to think i'm crazy when i say that you've changed.
i'm convinced i know the problem, you dont love me the same.
period.
the cold war ended,
the ironic thing is that we became ever so warm. ha
the past weeek had been a dreading one,
with lectures packed for the entire week.
information indigestion, i've yet digested the 3hour straight organic chem lecture of last thursday.
or should i say, i didnt even absorb anything in?
its okay lah, they arent being tested in the july common tests anyway.
(what great learning attitude ya?)
jc life suck,
they dont even let us enjoy the june holidays.
do they have to put mid-year common tests in july?!?!
okay, its down to serious mugging for the next two weeks.
i cant afford to flunk my common tests,
given that i'll have to sacrifice hockey if i do badly.
(honestly. hockey's been everything.)
i'm progessing further to making a good forward,
my hits are getting more powerful :D yay
you made me realise, that i'm nothing without you.
please give me one more try. . .
one more try, one more try, baby give me one more try!
(okay, i'm so in love with this song.)
wait wait, it has ended, i shall play it again :D
once again, money seeds anyone?
although i didnt pay for my movie and lunch yesterday,
i spent abt 10bucks on cab fare.
another 10bucks today on another cab fare.
five bucks on bunch,
i'm seriously broke.
i've gotten save up!
some important day's coming next month. =(
raaahhh!
one more try?
4 days of delta experience indeed got all my energy drained dry.
though it wasnt as tough as the alphabravo camp, we had our fair share of suffering too.
all the burpies, pushups and situps we had to do for punishments.
the nightwalk from punggol to aj,
wooahh! i'm proud to say, i survived delta experience. :D
(though, kf and toy wld be so much more proud to say they survived alphabravo camp.)
the aftermath of camp,
being more sick and feeling so yucky all over,
sore throat has yet to recover.
it was indeed interesting how floppy was my camp instructor!
it was a blessing in some way, he taught me some hockey tricks. :D
for my service learning project during the camp,
my group was to do community work in MINDSville,
a place for the intellectually disabled.
it really touched my heart to see these people,
some were born these way, while others were unforunate enough to accidentally become like that.
i finally understood what it meant by, to gain happiness by helping others.
the cold war started,
sadly i dont see a near end to it.
Rachel / Rae
24th nov 1989
raeraerae_@hotmail.com
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